The Vedic Conversation - Episode 10 Acceptance
The Vedic Conversation - Episode 10 Acceptance: Finding freedom through acceptance
Welcome to this week's episode of The Vedic Conversation, hosted by Vedic Meditation teachers Rory Kinsella, Derrick Yanford and Anthony Thompson.
In this episode, we talk about Acceptance and how when we're pragmatic and realistic about our situation, we're in the best position to move forward.
At the end we offer a practical exercise so you can apply this knowledge to your daily life.
Here’s my story about Acceptance
I've always been a fan of Jack Nicholson - a great actor when it comes to playing slightly wacky characters. Two standout roles for me are the boozy lawyer in Easy Rider and the caretaker in The Shining.
Between those films he starred in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest based on the novel by Ken Kesey.
Nicholson plays the part of repeat offender Randle McMurphy who's moved to a mental institution after serving a short sentence on a prison farm for several charges of assault. He hopes to avoid hard labor and serve the rest of his sentence in a relaxed environment by pretending to be mentally ill.
Upon arriving at the hospital, he finds the ward is run by nurse Ratched, a cold, passive aggressive tyrant who uses her rules and authority to intimidate her charges into a restrictive, joyless existence.
He challenges her and everything that's going on with the result that he disrupts the status quo. When he realises that the other patients are there voluntarily, and they can discharge themselves at any time he encourages them to think for themselves and not cooperate with the heartless daily regime.
He takes every opportunity to introduce fun and excitement, but when he learns that he is one of three people who could be there indefinitely he plans to escape....... but I don't want to reveal more in case you haven't seen it.
The story is about a battle of wills between McMurphy and the nurse, played by Louise Fletcher. He won't accept where he is and what's going on, always living with the expectation that he can turn things around for himself, and the others sharing his dilemma. The Nurse outwits him by crushing his ideas and opposing him at every turn. And because his expectations are constantly blocked he becomes frustrated which leads to erratic behaviour and him making increasingly dangerous decisions.
There's a very powerful moment when his friend Bramden, the native American Indian, reveals he is pretending to be deaf-mute so he can avoid engaging with anyone. Like McMurphy, he is unlikely to be released but he takes a different approach and plays a waiting game. He's not resigned to what's going on - he simply accepts the situation and is waiting for the right moment to move on.
The more McMurphy fights the system, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated the more the system comes down on him. At every opportunity he refuses to accept what is happening to him but he hasn't got the level of consciousness to understand that the system will inevitably crush him unless he can escape his mindset, and like his friend accept the situation and wait for the opportune moment.
The Indian takes the opposite path to McMurphy and with his tall, strong and mute presence becomes almost invisible to everybody else. He's overlooked and quietly working out what to do, and it is he who in the final moments gets away.
One of the great lessons I've learnt as a meditator is that it's best to accept and then act.
If we take the approach of accepting what the present moment contains, as if we had chosen it, we can take the correct action. When we work with it and not against it there is greater flow and less friction. This approach to acceptance not only applies to what's going on around us as with McMurphy, but also within us.
Recalling a long-term relationship I was in I realised that there was no point attempting to change the dynamic or the other person, that it was me that had to change. I had to accept that the relationship was no longer sustainable, that it had changed and become something else.
I know many people who continue with a bankrupt relationship settling for the easy or quiet life, not wanting to upset the status quo. I accepted the situation and was determined to evolve from there because I knew that it is not acceptance but denial that would leave me stuck. I accepted that I could not continue to pretend that everything was okay and that if we both worked at it it would somehow improve.
It was fundamentally dishonest of me to pretend to myself, and to the other party, together with everybody else, that things were fine. Once I had come to that conclusion, and accepted it in my heart, it was obvious that there was only one thing I could do – remove myself and move on.
A daily meditation practice makes us strong and stable, helping us decide on the direction to take.
We don't have to think about what is the right course of action, it will present itself naturally.
Acceptance does not necessarily mean liking, enjoying, or condoning but when, like McMurphy, we are constantly in a state of denial and not acceptance, we're always going to be in a state friction and turbulence
- but when we're open hearted and accepting, opportunities appear, and life becomes easier.
If you’re happy to share your stories, we’d love to have you join the conversation. Please send them through to us at stories@thevedicconversation.com or post them on social media using the hashtag #thevedicconversation and we’ll share some in future episodes.
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